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Телефон

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Учитель.

Первый ученик.

Второй ученик.

Телефон.

Вполне обыкновенный класс в совершенно обычной школе. За поразительно обыкновенным учительским столом сидит обыкновенный школьный учитель. Перед ним — до жути узнаваемые дети. На столе скромно стоит абсолютно обычный телефонный аппарат.

Учитель. Дети, сегодня мы с вами прикоснемся к вечному и незыблемому, к строго научному и единственно верному…

Первый ученик (вскакивая, радостно). К материалам очередного?..

Учитель. К законам физики. На сегодняшнем уроке мы будем изучать закон выдающегося ученого прошлого, столпа и светоча, титана и колосса, вообще большой умницы Бойля-Мариотта.

Первый ученик (вскакивая, радостно). У первого звена есть предложение. Выбрать товарища Бойля-Мариотта почетным членом нашего класса.

Второй ученик (с чувством собственного достоинства). Второе звено предлагает развернуть движение. Учиться за себя и за того парня — Бойля-Мариотта, а деньги, заработанные в пятой трудовой четверти, перечислить семье покойного ученого.

Скромно, но настойчиво звонит Телефон.

Учитель (снимает трубку, постепенно становясь стройнее и красивее). Да… Школа… Физика… Бойль-Мариотт. Понял… Осознал… Позорное пятно… Разрешите смыть… Собственной кровью… Искуплю трудом… (Вешает трубку, медленно поднимает на учеников тяжелый, полный немого укора взгляд; тихо и проникновенно.) Как могли вы — ученики нашей школы — выступить с таким близоруким, вредным, аполитичным предложением? Как могла тебе, Петя, прийти мысль разбазаривать наши почетные члены наймитам ихнего капитала?! Не ожидал от тебя.

Класс молча презирает Петю.

Учитель. До каких пор фамилии этих буржуазных прихвостней будут заполнять чистые страницы наших учебников?! (Все громче и звонче.) Разве нам без них нечем гордиться?!! Или перевелись столпы на земле русской!!!

Все встают, аплодируют стоя.

Учитель. Сегодня мы будем изучать богатое наследие нашего земляка, гиганта мысли, отца всех наук — Михайлы Ломоносова.

Второй ученик (с чувством собственного достоинства). Второе звено предлагает исключить господина Бойля-Мариотта из почетных членов нашего класса как политическую проститутку и японского шпиона, а также заклеймить несмываемым позором первое звено как пособника мирового капитала.

Первый ученик (вставая, радостно). Первое звено, чтобы смыть и загладить, предлагает учиться за себя и за того парня — Ломоносова, и окружить тимуровской заботой потомков покойного ученого!

Ненавязчиво и симпатично звонит Телефон.

Учитель (снимает трубку; слегка икнув). Да… Ломоносов… Холмогорский… Из крестьян… Не время… Кровью… Костьми… Личным примером… (Вешает трубку, медленно поднимает на учеников тяжелый взгляд, полный немого укора; проникновенно и тихо.) Стыдно, дети. Мне стыдно, что вы мои ученики. Сегодня, когда все мы переживаем нелегкие дни обновления и промывания, никто не имеет права… (Сглотнув; повышая тон.) Не имеет права стоять и уклоняться, отрывать и выхолащивать! Ломоносов, воспевающий монархов и монархию, не тот человек, который сегодня, в век всеобщего снятия с пьедесталов, достоин и заслуживает! Неужели нет других ученых, которые бы отражали и соответствовали?! Есть такие ученые!!! Сегодня мы будем изучать второй закон прогрессивного английского физика Исаака Ньютона. Сама его фамилия «нью-тон» явилась новым звуком среди застоя и закостенелого ханжества викторианской Англии. Запишите, пожалуйста, формулировку этого злободневнейшего закона. (Диктует.) Сила равняется масса на ускорение. То есть еще великий Ньютон отмечал, что наша сила заключается в ускорении, причем ускоряться должны не отдельные энтузиасты, а широкие, подчеркиваю, массы!

Все встают, аплодируют стоя.

Первый ученик (вскакивая, радостно). Первое звено предлагает исключить Ломоносова и ввести Ньютона!

Второй ученик (с чувством собственного достоинства). А второе звено выражает готовность хоть сейчас выехать в Англию для оказания посильной моральной и материальной помощи родным и близким покойного.

Тихо и зловеще звонит Телефон. Учитель долго не решается взять трубку. Недоуменно смотрит на аппарат.

Учитель (осторожно подносит трубку к уху). Да… Да… Второй закон… Как?.. Уже?.. Свободного падения?.. Я так и знал… (Вешает трубку; достает носовой платок; долго смотрит на него; убирает; медленно поднимается, расправляя плечи; встав в полный рост; вытянув вперед руку; зычно и уверенно.) Физика — это не догма, а руководство к действию!

Первый ученик (вскакивая, радостно). Позвольте исключить английского лорда из нашего класса.

На столе тихим беспрерывным звонком звонит абсолютно обыкновенный телефон.

1988

134 комментария для “Телефон”

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  7. In short-term research, testosterone substitute improved blood sugar levels and obesity in men with low testosterone.
    Nevertheless, testosterone therapy will increase the danger of coronary heart disease, so it’s not used to
    deal with metabolic syndrome. Individuals who have prostate
    cancer are suggested not take testosterone replacement therapy.

    Nevertheless, analysis hasn’t proven these side effects are directly associated to
    low testosterone. Nonetheless, constant hormone alternative therapy helps enhance intercourse drive, ease signs of melancholy and improve
    power ranges for these experiencing low testosterone.
    Nonetheless, these assigned female at birth also have testosterone in their our bodies.
    Analysis shows that normal testosterone levels in females are vital
    to maintaining libido, cognitive operate, lean muscle
    restore and growth, and bone power. It can also play a task
    in reducing the chance of sure endocrine cancers.
    Some of the most apparent signs of low testosterone
    might embody ED, lowered intercourse drive, depression,
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    Extra long-term symptoms that may develop from untreated low testosterone ranges could presumably be a lack of muscle
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    For males with low testosterone ranges as measured by a blood take a
    look at who also have symptoms of low testosterone, the
    decision to take testosterone replacement is one to make along
    with your physician. Low testosterone levels can affect your
    libido and trigger bodily modifications, sleep issues,
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    While you may really feel embarrassed about sexual operate issues, seeing a healthcare supplier might
    help you find the proper treatment. Testosterone is a
    hormone produced by the testicles (testes) in males and
    ovaries in females. In males, it contributes to the event of secondary characteristics
    like facial and body hair and elevated bone
    and muscle mass.
    Research suggests that as you age and your testosterone ranges
    steadily drop, you may also experience a lower in the
    dimension of your testicles. Absolutely replenishing your testosterone
    degree relies upon largely on what treatments you discover a your physician. Your doctor may ask
    you to stop taking sure medication before your test, as they
    may have an result on your testosterone
    ranges.
    If you’ve been feeling mentally sluggish or forgetful, low T could be a
    contributing factor(4✔ ✔Trusted SourceOn the results of testosterone on mind behavioral functionsGo to source).

    Sleep deprivation can also lead to increased irritability, a weakened
    immune system, weight gain, low sex drive and more.
    However, when its symptoms directly threaten a
    man’s total well being, treatment for low testosterone turns into essential.

    Beyond the bodily changes, adult-onset hypogonadism may cause emotional and
    cognitive results. Many men report persistent fatigue, low energy ranges, and
    mood swings or melancholy. In extreme instances, some men might expertise scorching flashes, just like what women experience throughout menopause.
    One of the commonest indicators of low testosterone is a noticeable drop in sexual want.
    Males with low T often report fewer sexual fantasies, lowered
    curiosity in intercourse, and even fewer erotic desires.
    Testosterone receptors in the brain, notably in areas just like the amygdala, play
    an important position in sexual arousal.
    In males, production of this hormone starts how to purchase testosterone fall after age 30 and continues to
    decline (about 1% per year) all through their life. This is referred to as hypogonadism,
    testosterone deficiency syndrome (TD), low testosterone (Low-T),
    or andropause. As men age, they can experience a number
    of signs associated to sexual operate that may be a result of lowered ranges of this hormone.

    This is very true when physical signs like gynecomastia and muscle losing begin to undermine a person’s confidence and self-esteem.
    These adjustments are additionally linked to an elevated
    threat of stigma, each real and perceived, notably when hypogonadism occurs at an early age.
    Male hypogonadism impacts folks born with testes and a penis
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    anemia, a condition in which you lack enough wholesome red blood cells
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