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Царевна-лягушка

Яга. Имя?

Иван. Иван.

Яга. Фамилия?

Иван. Царевич.

Яга. Ревич, Царевич, Рабинович. Нерусский, што ль?

Иван. Как же не русский? Это я по отцу Царевич, а по матери-то, все нормально. Дурак.

Яга. Дурак? Ну, это еще далеко не по матери. Хотя тоже ничего. И зачем же ты, Ваня, в Кащеево царство намылился?

Иван. Как-то странно ты, бабуля, гостей встречаешь. Не умыла, не накормила, спать не уложила, а уже спрашиваешь?

Яга. Во-первых, здесь, Вань, не парк культуры и отдыха, а, извини, пограничная зона. А во-вторых, по какой, говоришь, причине к Кащею-то?

Иван. Так это… Там все написано — воссоединение с семьей. Жена у меня там — Василисьюшка Кащеевна.

Яга. Ишь ты. А ну, посмотри в глаза… Ведь фиктивный брачок-то? А, Ваня? По глазам же вижу — фиктивный. Не иначе решил, прости господи, в стриптизу сходить. Ах ты, шалун.

Иван. Да ты что, морда костяная? Да она у нас в болоте на лягушку училась. Я и не знал ничего.

Входит Соловей-Разбойник.

Соловей. Здорово, Ягуля. Это кто тут не знал ничего?

Яга. Да вот тут один. На Лягухе женился, а она не наша случилась. Воссоединяться желают.

Соловей. Как фамилия?

Иван. Дурак.

Соловей. Сам дурак. И вообще, сгною в погребе.

Яга. Это у него фамилие такое — Дурак.

Соловей. Странно. Фамилия вроде наша. Что ж тебя, дурака, туда-то потянуло?

Иван. Так ведь чувство же. Семья — ячейка, и все такое.

Соловей. Э-э. Да ты зеленый совсем. Ну, куда ты такой поедешь? Это у нас ячейка, а у них — осиное гнездо.

Яга. Во-во. И вообще, Кащеево царство — царство смерти и исторической обреченности. Оставайся, Ваня.

Соловей. Ну, че молчишь? Или ты туда за шмутками собрался?

Яга. Я, Соловеюшка, кумекаю, ему, кучерявому, стриптизу захотелось.

Соловей. Че, правда, Иван? Так ты скажи, не стесняйся. Мы тебе его и здесь вмиг организуем. Вон Яга щас разденется — смотри, сколько хочешь. (Яге.) Что-то не нравится он мне. Может он и не дурак вовсе?

Яга. Так он по матери Дурак, а по отцу — Царевич.

Соловей. То-то, я смотрю, не наше у него лицо. Ах ты, злодей. Дураки-то, небось, туда не рвутся.

Иван. Что ж, я виноват, что лягушонка моя заморской оказалась?

Соловей. Молчи, гад. Скажи лучше, сколько ты этой жабе заплатил, чтобы она за тебя, урода, вышла? (В волнении ходит. Ивану.) Сто пятьдесят характеристик с прологом, эпилогом и некрологом принес?

Иван. Принес.

Соловей. Автобиографии ямбом, хореем, белым стихом, с крендельками и завитушками принес?

Иван. Принес.

Яга. Да все он, анафема, принес. Вон самосвал во дворе под бумагами прогинается.

Соловей. Да? Ну ладно, Ваня. Значит, все в порядке. Иди. Документы мы все как надо рассмотрим и через тридцать лет и три года милости прошу за ответом.

Иван. Да вы что… Жена ведь… Красавица…

Соловей. А ты как думал? Не куда-нибудь, к Кащею собрался. Все надоть проверить. Не кручинься ты так. Если любит — подождет. Ну, ступай, молодец.

Иван уходит.

Соловей. Вот зараза. Интеллигентишка недоделанный. Все беды от них. Дурак, говорит, по матери. Сказал бы ему, змеенышу, по матери, да при женщинах неудобно.

1987

135 комментариев для “Царевна-лягушка”

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  3. Clen spikes your metabolism significantly, resulting in the user’s under-eating, thanks
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    A combination of proteins and Amino Acids together with PeakATP is certain that can assist you
    slightly in the muscle gaining endeavor. Unlike Anadrol,
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    observed in some before and after footage. Intermediate and experienced athletes who have beforehand taken anabolic steroids (such as Testosterone)
    would possibly experience lesser effects of Dianabol.
    Some data in regards to the growth of clitoromegaly are
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    from 1.4 cm at baseline to three cm after 4 months
    of receiving 200 mg testosterone cypionate each different week (226).
    Similar outcomes were noticed in a research administering
    1.000 mg testosterone undecanoate every 3 months (227).

    Consequently, elevations in metabolism will improve calorie expenditure
    at rest and scale back fat mass. It can be combined with anabolic
    steroids throughout chopping cycles because of its potent results on adrenaline and metabolism.
    Dianabol is a robust anabolic steroid that may produce great results when used correctly.
    Nonetheless, there are some things to bear in mind before taking this drug, including the proper timeframe for use
    and potential unwanted aspect effects. This
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    not cause issues with the regulation however will improve
    your lean muscle mass and even enhance your energy if you train accordingly.

    Clitoral measurement was unaffected by a decrease dosage of
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    in hysterectomized ladies (224). Thus, in distinction with dysphonia and hirsutism, there appears to be a better threshold of androgenic motion required for this aspect impact to happen. AAS users somewhat commonly
    expertise erectile dysfunction (65), with 8% of topics within the HAARLEM examine reporting it at baseline
    and 12% reporting to have experienced it throughout AAS
    use. Three months after ceasing AAS use and 1 yr after the start
    of the AAS cycle it was reported by 14% and 1% of customers, respectively.
    None of these adjustments have been significantly completely different
    from baseline, which could be a kind II error.
    However they also might relieve the irritation, pain and discomfort
    of many alternative illnesses and situations. Speak together with your health care
    provider that can assist you higher perceive the risks and benefits of corticosteroids and
    make informed choices about your health. Deca Durabolin additionally has a significantly longer
    half-life than Dianabol (6-12 days vs. 3-6 hours).
    Thus, we find results on Deca Durabolin are slower, hence why longer cycles are utilized, giving nandrolone adequate time to construct
    up and peak within the bloodstream. Trenbolone is considerably more androgenic than Dianabol; thus, oily skin, zits,
    and hair loss are more frequent with trenbolone. Dianabol is
    often utilized in bulking cycles as a result of its constructive effects on muscle and strength.
    The only different issue that may lead to subcutaneous fats
    gain is if Dbol users adopt a calorie surplus diet to maximize outcomes
    when bulking.
    Testosterone suppression is more likely to be severe, as properly as
    LDL cholesterol levels rising notably in research.

    Trenbolone’s huge androgenicity is why it causes fats
    loss, with androgen receptors stimulating lipolysis.
    Weight scales could not fluctuate a lot as a outcome of simultaneous fat-burning
    and mass-building effects from Anavar. However, a
    woman’s body composition will significantly improve,
    with a leaner, fuller, and more outlined appearance.
    Now, rest on this sense doesn’t mean that you
    want to lay at residence all day, it merely means that you
    need to take a break from the drug. With this,
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    Bear In Mind, utilizing the drug for long intervals of time is extremely harmful to
    your well being and may trigger significant damage to
    your liver.
    This could cause ache in the upper proper of the stomach, jaundice, anemia, or bleeding.

    This is why we utilize Nolvadex (tamoxifen), which reduces estrogen levels whereas concurrently having a optimistic effect on levels of
    cholesterol (15). Tamoxifen (Nolvadex) seems to be the best drug, in accordance with research (12) and our expertise.

    Nonetheless, anti-estrogens are generally thought of a mild therapy
    for gynecomastia. According to 2018 statistics, the typical cost of gynecomastia surgery is $3,824 (13).

    In our experience, any anabolic steroid that causes a powerful optimistic reaction may also cause a negative one (typically in comparable measure).

    Dianabol, also called Methandrostenolone, has been utilized by bodybuilders and athletes for many years to improve performance and acquire muscle mass.
    Nevertheless, its use in skilled sports activities has been largely
    disputed due to its potentially harmful unwanted facet effects.
    In most professional sports, Dianabol is taken into account a banned substance and its use can result
    in disqualification, fines, and suspensions.
    Organizations such as the Worldwide Olympic Committee (IOC) and the World Anti-Doping Company (WADA) have listed Dianabol amongst their prohibited substances.
    Ladies can experience significant muscle progress on just
    2.5–5 mg of Dianabol per day. At this dose,
    we’ve had girls avoid virilization unwanted
    effects, which are generally experienced at doses of
    10 mg or extra per day. Zits is a typical aspect effect that roughly 50% of bodybuilders expertise because of utilizing anabolic steroids (25).

    30 mg a day is already pretty high with some good probabilities of growing unwanted facet effects.

    It’s fairly important to grasp that although Dianabol before and after pictures you possibly can see may be superior, this is a steroid that comes with well
    being dangers. So, Dbol can ship huge results, but I strongly suggest you be very careful with it.

    References:

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  4. Anabolic steroids suppress the gonadotropic features of the pituitary and should exert a direct effect upon the testes.
    Throughout exogenous administration of anabolic androgens, endogenous
    testosterone launch is inhibited via inhibition of pituitary luteinizing hormone (LH).

    At massive doses, spermatogenesis could also be suppressed through
    feedback inhibition of pituitary follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).
    Methandienone has been 17- alkylated to cut back liver clearance
    making it sensible for oral dosing. Methandienone acts instantly on androgen receptors resulting
    in elevated nitrogen retention and protein synthesis.
    Methandienone is topic to aromatization yielding estrogenic unwanted effects
    if not offset with an aromatase inhibitor. Methandienone metabolism
    is hepatic with a half-life of four.5 to 6 hours.
    Dianabol tablets for sale by Alpha Pharma obtain many constructive critiques from our prospects within the USA
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    value and helps you acquire muscle mass quickly and efficiently.

    This is the time required for half of the amount of Dianabol administered to be flushed out of
    your system. As much as we will see, one dosage per day
    just isn’t going to be sufficient to maintain secure blood levels of the compound all through the day.

    This is as a result of of copious scams where the label states forty mg of Anavar, however actually, it is only 20 mg.
    This is a typical situation the place the vendor has reduce the dose in half.

    Thus, the above dosage suggestions are based mostly on taking
    real Anavar. There is not an unlimited amount of information concerning the relationship
    between anabolic steroid use and kidney damage.
    Further analysis shows that even tiny doses of oxandrolone (2.5 mg), when taken by boys affected by delayed puberty,
    can notably lower endogenous testosterone production (17).

    This can be within the form of figuring out someone who formulates
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    HCG is not recommended for girls as a PCT, as
    it can potentially enlarge the ovaries (26) and cause virilization (27).
    Clomid can be not a positive PCT for girls, as it could cause the ovaries to
    become oversensitive. This is due to water filling inside the muscle cell and fluid
    being expelled exterior the muscle cell. Consequently, as extracellular
    water is no longer obscuring superficial veins,
    they turn into extra visible.
    FDA would start to place lots of stress on Ciba in an effort to
    push the company to list true medical benefits of the steroid.
    The FDA would approve its use for the treatment osteoporosis
    in post-menopausal girls in addition to pituitary-deficient dwarfism, but the latter was
    withdrawn within the early 1980’s. Once More the
    FDA would pressure Ciba for more info, but in 1983 under
    mounting stress Ciba would discontinue the Dianabol tab.
    A few years later, the FDA would pull all Methandrostenolone brands from the shelf.

    Since that point Dianabol has not been legally manufactured in the Usa,
    however is still manufactured heavily everywhere in the
    world.
    Patients with recognized or suspected feminine breast carcinoma with
    hypercalcemia as androgenic brokers may improve osteolytic
    bone resorption. Girls who are pregnant or may become pregnant due to potential masculinization of the fetus.
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    Regardless of its complete stage of power, which all will agree is
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    Injecting testicular extract to eating uncooked animal testicles themselves have all been part of sports; the latter
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    You will also find numerous underground labs carry excessive dose Dianabol capsules.

    Most Dbol tablets will normally be present in 5mg and
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    Sadly, whereas there are some good capsules, lots of them are garbage.
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  5. There are consequences to abusing AAS and Anavar steroid abuse isn’t any totally different.

    By rising T3 levels in the physique, your metabolic price is also boosted which
    then leads to lipolysis and the shedding of each visceral and subcutaneous
    fat deposits. Sometimes, your ability to build skeletal muscle shall be dependent on your age, sex, well being status, coaching routine, diet,
    and so forth. You could also be tempted to think that the extra Anavar you employ,
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    Choosing to create a dynamic duo, or even a trio, of steroids in a stack is
    an efficient way to extract one of the best outcomes.
    However, it’s crucial to display screen your potential partners,
    as not every steroid is appropriate to stack with Anavar, especially when the primary goal is cutting.

    The length of an Anavar cycle remains generally constant from the
    beginner to intermediate degree, extending from six to eight weeks.
    It offers sufficient time to expertise notable gains without overworking the physique or inviting pointless side effects.
    As an intermediate Anavar consumer, the dosage might be slightly higher than the beginners’ dose.
    A typical range lies between 50 to 100 milligrams
    per day, once more relying on an individual’s
    specific wants and tolerance ranges.
    If you’re stacking Anavar with other steroids, it is essential to start with a decrease dosage of Anavar and enhance it steadily.
    The recommended dosage of Anavar for men is 20-50mg per day, and for women is 5-20mg per day.
    It is crucial to note that larger dosages
    do not essentially equate to extra significant outcomes and may potentially increase the chance of unwanted side effects.
    Therefore, it’s essential to search out the proper balance
    between dosage and outcomes. We present a wide range of services that may help you when you find that you’re experiencing points with Anavar
    use or any substance. These providers embrace Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), which lets you get the help you want while nonetheless maintaining your day
    by day life.
    Folks with present hypertension or these genetically susceptible to coronary
    heart illness mustn’t take Anavar or other steroids because of adverse
    redistribution of levels of cholesterol. Anavar and all anabolic steroids are essentially types
    of exogenous testosterone; thus, Anavar will increase muscle mass.

    Sure, you probably can take 50 mg of Anavar a day, nevertheless it’s important
    to note that this must be done underneath the supervision of a healthcare skilled or a licensed steroid skilled.
    This dosage is often extra appropriate for males and experienced steroid customers.
    Keep In Mind, excessive doses of Anavar can result in antagonistic results, so it is important to find the proper steadiness that suits your physique and targets.

    As you may know, ATP (adenosine triphosphate) is the vitality supply on your muscles.
    Anvarol increases your ATP ranges, providing you with more vitality and
    making your workouts more practical. The majority of
    those effects are brought on when you abuse, take extra dosage or have an underlying/hidden medical situation.
    If you’re exploring the world of bodybuilding, you might need come throughout Anavar.
    It’s a well-liked name, but it’s tremendous essential to grasp what
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    This guide is for novices like you, and it’s going to interrupt down every
    thing you should know about an Anavar cycle, specializing in the right dosage and period.

    With Anavar also being a expensive compound, this cycle
    can cost lots of of dollars. This is a common follow-up cycle to the primary Anavar and testosterone cycle listed.
    We goal to support the widest array of browsers and assistive technologies as potential, so our
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    Liver injury signs embody jaundice, dark urine, fatigue, nausea, and stomach
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    and speak to your healthcare provider instantly. This medicine
    is normally taken orally, although it can also be injected.
    The ordinary starting dose is 10 mg per day
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    References:

    http://www.valley.md

  6. Oxandrolone and Nandrolone are just about at complete opposite
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    and getting lean, whereas the latter is commonly used to bulk up
    and add mass. Because of this, it’s unlikely that you’d
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    When you’re trying to enhance your physique, a Winstrol and Anavar cycle can be a good way to realize your goals.

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    HGH is generally thought-about much less dangerous than most anabolic
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    Anavar is a very fast-working steroid, and it’s more likely to result in faster and bigger muscle positive
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    used for six to eight weeks, whereas you’re taking a look at many months of HGH
    use to get acceptable outcomes. If you’re
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    isn’t unusual.
    Although it could promote muscle growth, it does so in several
    methods than anabolic steroids. HGH will
    improve and compound upon the bodily outcomes of testosterone – extra muscle, energy, higher
    fat loss, and recovery. Simply like HGH, Anavar has a direct impression on the metabolism,
    and this interprets to powerful fat burning.

    As with any steroid cycle, there are potential unwanted effects to
    pay attention to. Some of the potential unwanted effects of a
    Clen and Anavar cycle embrace nausea, vomiting, headaches, and increased heart fee.
    It is important to observe your physique intently and converse with
    a healthcare skilled should you experience any
    opposed effects. Anavar and Clenbuterol before and after results could be spectacular when used correctly.
    Many customers report vital fat loss and improved muscle definition after just a few weeks of utilizing these two
    steroids collectively. However, it’s important to notice that particular person results might vary depending on components
    similar to diet, exercise, and genetics.

    This will provide you with a beneficial daily caloric intake; when utilizing
    Anavar for cutting, cut back your consumption by about 500 calories beneath the beneficial amount.
    This ought to contain high-quality protein and carbs (not refined or
    white carbohydrates). This is one purpose why men,
    in particular, will choose not to use Anavar – the excessive value mixed with the popularity it has of being
    «too mild» can actually put you off.
    Conservative dosages have been used in this pattern cycle, with the risk of liver pressure (and other facet effects) in thoughts.
    Our patients discover common cardiovascular train offers some cardioprotection, which can also be
    mirrored in analysis. Nonetheless, blood pressure should be monitored
    often all through this cycle, as excessive amounts of water
    retention and ldl cholesterol shifts are inevitable.
    Testosterone is another bulking steroid that will considerably improve muscle and strength features when stacked with Anadrol.
    This duo is amongst the most potent combos for mass in our experience.

    Females running a first Anavar cycle should start very low to judge unwanted aspect effects.

    5mg per day is known to be nicely tolerated in clinical use by many feminine patients.

    If a lady tolerates this dose properly, the subsequent step is 10mg; many will discover
    10mg day by day to be the right steadiness.
    Depending in your source and quality, you’re probably taking a look at
    lots of of dollars per cycle rather than thousands for HGH.
    For many ladies, cost alone will be the figuring out issue when choosing to make use of either HGH or
    Anavar. HGH is such a novel substance for efficiency
    and/or other well being benefits that it couldn’t (and ought to
    not) be immediately similar to anabolic steroids, SARMs, or
    most different PEDs. However we ought to always weigh
    up HGH compared to an exciting investigational drug known as MK-677 and some other peptides of interest.
    Females will use HGH for a range of reasons – either for its
    pores and skin and anti-aging advantages and better sleep or for proper fitness and
    physique results. Women can anticipate comparable
    results and outcomes to male customers of HGH when it comes to rejuvenation, restoration, and
    fats loss.

    References:

    https://www.valley.md/

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